Your daughter has a stomachache for the fourth day in a row before school? Your son seems to have a fever right as a school day rolls around the corner? Or, in tears, your kid might say: “I didn’t get enough sleep again.” Child psychologists are warning – more and more children refuse to attend classes. Trying to figure out whether the child is really not interested in school, parents come to a standstill. Why? The kid either doesn’t answer their questions directly, or their explanations seem to be some kind of excuse.
How can parents understand that going to school has become the worst challenge for a kid? Most children are unable or unwilling to explain what is wrong. And then, the kid doesn’t want to wake up in the morning, and getting ready for school turns into a nightmare. In this article, we look at the signs that school is not a good fit for your child and study what parents can do in such circumstances.
Of course, it will take time and energy to figure out the problem, which can be even harder if you are a student yourself. And in these circumstances, outsourcing simply saves the day! Turning to a highly qualified paper writer for help, you release yourself of the heavy burden to focus on what’s important at that particular moment. Plus, this way, you will be sure that your task will be completed at the highest level and sent on time. And you can fully devote yourself to helping your child! So, let’s figure out which signs you should be looking at.
They Don’t Want To Discuss What’s Happening At School
Once you ask: “How is school?”, analyze the kid’s reaction. If the child tries to change the subject or demonstrates that they don’t want to talk about it, then something is clearly wrong. Also, pay attention to body language – it will definitely help to understand that the child is uncomfortable discussing it.
Sudden Change of Attitude
Let’s say, your kid used to treat school as a joyful and positive event, and then suddenly mentions it with anger or irritation. Boredom or lack of any emotions can also be a crucial signal.
Perhaps they are so well versed in the material taught at school that they are simply not interested in what is discussed in the classroom. This is typical for gifted children, who are far ahead of their peers. Or, on the contrary, the curriculum can be so complex for a kid that everything taught seems to be in another language. And then, the way to survive it all is to completely isolate oneself from what is happening.
Eating and Sleep Problems
It is a well-known fact that people cannot fall asleep or eat normally (or vice versa – we overeat or have difficulties waking up) due to anxiety and depression. In fact, this sign is one of the most important, since the child won’t be able to hide it from you.
Doing Homework Takes Too Much Time
Another warning sign is that the child needs too much time to set themselves in a productive mood, or often makes pauses in the process. At the same time, performing even simple tasks can take a lot of energy and effort. You could have a similar situation if during your studies you once chose the wrong coursework topic or were completely uninterested in the subject. Indeed, remembering your own experience, you will definitely understand your child better.
Teachers Are Worried
Here is another red flag. Your kid’s teacher might tell you things that don’t fit with their usual behavior. Be sure to pay attention to the teacher’s words, as they analyze not only the academic performance of their students, but the attitudes as well. Also, listen to what decisions they have in mind. No doubt, the final decision is up to you, however, it still won’t hurt to combine information that both you and the teacher know. This way you can work in the same team – together with your child, of course.
If a kid struggles with talking about problems, their behavior speaks for itself. Ignoring the teacher’s remarks, aggression, or rudeness – all this can be an attempt to draw attention or a call for help.
Academic Performance Worsens
Of course, this sign is obvious, but many parents take it for fatigue, not problems in remembering the material. “He/She just doesn’t realize that studying is important,” many parents say. An occasional bad grade or one failed assignment is fine, but a steady decline in grades is a cause for concern. Especially if the child is working hard to learn better.
Difficulties Focusing and Staying Organized
Many things can be a distraction in the classroom, from loud conversations to kids running around in the hall. Most likely, you’ve experienced this as well. Say, when you want to read something useful (how to monetize your skills, for instance), but everything from a boiling kettle to barking dogs in the street distracts you. Some children are more sensitive to external stimuli, so it is vital to teach them concentration techniques.
Change of Habits
If a child has abandoned their usual hobbies or activities, or has lost interest in meeting friends, it’s a crucial sign.
How To Have A Conversation With A Child?
To begin with, you have to realize why the kid is anxious and accept it. Remember: they have every right to feel so.
What parents definitely shouldn’t do is raise their voice at the child, be offended and give ultimatums. The main thing that a child needs right now is calm and understanding parents. Let’s face it: stress can be shocking not only for children, but for adults as well (be it getting a diploma when you’re a grown-up, job search, moving, etc.). Try your best to control your emotions in order not to make things worse.
A common mistake many parents make is offering their child a ready-made solution to a problem. But this will not lead to anything good – the child will feel unheard and lonely.
Moreover, don’t rush to call the principal or deal with the parent whose kid is bullying yours, if that is the case. Don’t devalue the problem and don’t overreact. Find out all the details and analyze the consequences of your actions. Work out a joint solution with the school psychologist.
Don’t be afraid to share your experience in solving problems with a kid. Start from something like that: “At first I was afraid, but then things became better.” Explain to your son or daughter that it’s okay to not know something or have difficulties keeping up. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Unfortunately, today’s students are often overwhelmed and feel pressure because of high expectations.
School is a scary place for many children and some are rather straightforward when showing their emotions regarding it. However, others are great at hiding their feelings.
The first step is to ask the child simple questions. For example: “What do you think will happen if you go to school?” or “What’s the worst thing that could happen if you go there?” Promise them you won’t take any action without their consent.
Try to make your kid understand that:
- Everything may not happen the way they think it will (be it a test result, teacher’s reaction, or peers’ attitude).
- Even if everything ends badly, something can always be done regarding the problem.
- Having fears is totally fine.
Another great thing is to find a safe place at school where the child can go to calm down and feel more secure. It can be a library or whichever place the teacher recommends. Also, try to find a person at school whom your kid will reach in case of anxiety or stress – why not contact the school counselor?
And remember: all problems can be solved, the main thing is not to do it on time.